📖 Overview
On Children and Death is a guide for parents, medical professionals, and caregivers dealing with terminally ill children or children facing grief. Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross draws from decades of work with dying patients and their families to address the challenges of supporting children through death and loss.
The book offers practical advice for discussing death with children of different ages and helping them process their emotions about illness, grief, and mortality. Kübler-Ross includes letters from parents who have lost children, transcripts of conversations with young patients, and case studies from her clinical experience.
Through interviews and observations, the text explores how children perceive death at various developmental stages and how their understanding differs from adults. Kübler-Ross outlines specific approaches for hospitals, schools, and families to create supportive environments for children confronting death.
The work stands as both a clinical resource and a meditation on society's need to speak more openly with children about death. Its enduring significance lies in its recognition of children's capacity to face mortality with remarkable clarity when given honest communication and emotional support.
👀 Reviews
Readers found this book helpful for processing grief and understanding how children cope with death, particularly parents who lost children to illness. Many noted it provided practical guidance for supporting terminally ill children and talking to healthy children about death.
What readers liked:
- Real examples and case studies from Kübler-Ross's work
- Specific communication strategies and age-appropriate approaches
- Focus on both dying children and grieving siblings
- Straightforward, compassionate tone
What readers disliked:
- Some found the examples emotionally difficult to read
- A few felt the advice was dated (book published 1983)
- Limited discussion of sudden deaths vs. terminal illness
Ratings:
Goodreads: 4.19/5 (517 ratings)
Amazon: 4.7/5 (156 ratings)
Notable review quote: "This book gave me permission to grieve openly and helped me understand my children's questions weren't unusual." - Goodreads reviewer
Some readers mentioned referring back to specific chapters multiple times while working through their family's grief process.
📚 Similar books
Option B by Barbara Okun and Joseph Nowinski.
This resource guides families through anticipatory grief and the process of losing terminally ill loved ones.
When Children Grieve by John W. James and Russell Friedman. The book presents methods for helping children process loss, death, divorce, and life-changing events.
The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion. This memoir chronicles the author's experiences with grief following the death of her husband while her daughter was in a coma.
Final Gifts by Maggie Callanan, Patricia Kelley. Two hospice nurses share observations about the unique needs and communications of dying patients with their families.
The Dead Moms Club by Kate Spencer. This memoir examines the specific challenges of losing a mother and navigating life after maternal loss.
When Children Grieve by John W. James and Russell Friedman. The book presents methods for helping children process loss, death, divorce, and life-changing events.
The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion. This memoir chronicles the author's experiences with grief following the death of her husband while her daughter was in a coma.
Final Gifts by Maggie Callanan, Patricia Kelley. Two hospice nurses share observations about the unique needs and communications of dying patients with their families.
The Dead Moms Club by Kate Spencer. This memoir examines the specific challenges of losing a mother and navigating life after maternal loss.
🤔 Interesting facts
🌟 Elisabeth Kübler-Ross conducted over 20,000 interviews with dying patients throughout her career, using these experiences to shape her understanding of death and grief.
⚡ The book was published in 1983, during a time when discussing death with children was largely considered taboo in Western society.
🌍 Many of the book's insights came from letters written by parents who lost children during the 1983 Beirut barracks bombings, which Kübler-Ross personally helped them process.
💫 Kübler-Ross's work revolutionized hospice care in America, leading to the development of specialized children's grief programs still used today.
🎯 The author's famous "Five Stages of Grief" model, referenced throughout the book, was originally developed by observing terminal patients, not bereaved survivors, though it's now applied to both groups.