Feeling Good Together

Feeling Good Together presents cognitive behavioral techniques for improving relationships and resolving conflicts. Dr. David Burns outlines specific tools and exercises based on decades of clinical experience helping couples, families, and colleagues communicate more effectively. The book breaks down common patterns that create tension in relationships and offers concrete methods to transform negative interactions into positive ones. Burns introduces concepts like the "Five Secrets of Effective Communication" and explains how to implement them in real-world situations. Through case studies and dialogue examples, readers learn to identify their own contribution to relationship problems and gain practical skills for change. The approach focuses on personal responsibility rather than trying to change others. The work challenges conventional wisdom about communication and relationships, suggesting that standard advice about active listening and empathy may be insufficient for lasting change. Its core message centers on the power of examining and adjusting one's own responses rather than focusing on others' behaviors.

Readers appreciate the practical communication techniques and exercises that help improve relationships. Many note the effectiveness of the "five secrets of effective communication" framework and how it helped them handle conflicts with spouses and family members. Common praise focuses on the concrete examples and transcripts showing how to apply the methods in real situations. Multiple readers mentioned success using the disarming technique specifically. Main criticisms include: - Too much repetition of concepts - Oversimplified solutions for complex relationship issues - Examples feel scripted/unrealistic - Exercises take significant time and effort to implement Some readers found the tone patronizing and noted that both parties need to be willing to use the techniques for them to work. Ratings: Goodreads: 4.0/5 (2,800+ ratings) Amazon: 4.5/5 (850+ ratings) Barnes & Noble: 4.4/5 (40+ ratings) "This book gave me specific tools I could use immediately" - Amazon reviewer "The methods work but require lots of practice" - Goodreads reviewer

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman The book presents research-based techniques for improving communication and resolving conflicts in relationships through specific exercises and strategies.

Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg This work provides a framework for expressing needs and hearing others through a method that focuses on observation, feelings, needs, and requests.

Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson The book introduces Emotionally Focused Therapy principles to help couples understand attachment bonds and transform relationship distress into connection.

Getting Together and Staying Together by William Glasser and Carleen Glasser The authors present Choice Theory as a method for understanding relationship dynamics and creating lasting partnerships without blame or control.

Love Without Hurt by Steven Stosny The book outlines a program for healing relationship wounds through emotional regulation and compassion-based techniques that mirror Burns' approach to cognitive restructuring.

🔹 The author, Dr. David Burns, developed groundbreaking techniques like the Daily Mood Log and the Relationship Satisfaction Scale, which are now widely used in cognitive therapy practices. 🔹 This book introduces the "Five Secrets of Effective Communication," which were tested and refined through Dr. Burns' experience with over 50,000 therapy sessions. 🔹 While most relationship books focus on changing your partner, "Feeling Good Together" emphasizes self-examination and personal accountability as the key to relationship improvement. 🔹 The techniques in this book were influenced by Dr. Burns' collaboration with cognitive therapy pioneer Dr. Aaron Beck at the University of Pennsylvania. 🔹 The communication methods presented in the book have been successfully applied beyond personal relationships to professional settings, including healthcare, education, and business negotiations.