On Wanting to Change

On Wanting to Change examines the human drive for personal transformation through the lens of psychoanalytic theory. Author Adam Phillips explores why people seek change and what obstacles stand in their way. The book draws on clinical case studies and cultural observations to investigate the complex relationship between desire and resistance when it comes to changing oneself. Phillips considers how childhood experiences, unconscious forces, and societal pressures influence our attempts at self-modification. Through analysis of literature, philosophy, and therapeutic practice, Phillips questions whether the ways we typically think about personal change are helpful or limiting. His examination spans multiple frameworks including Freudian psychoanalysis and contemporary psychology. The work challenges common assumptions about self-improvement and suggests new ways of understanding human development and transformation. Phillips' insights reveal the paradoxical nature of change itself - how it can be both desperately wanted and fiercely resisted.

Readers appreciate Phillips' exploration of personal change through a psychoanalytic lens, with many noting his unique writing style that weaves together clinical insights and literary references. Several reviewers point to his perspective that resistance to change can be as meaningful as change itself. Key likes: - Clear analysis of why people seek or avoid change - Thoughtful examination of therapy's role in transformation - Concise length at 144 pages Common criticisms: - Dense, academic writing style that can be hard to follow - Abstract concepts without practical applications - Some passages feel repetitive Ratings: Goodreads: 3.9/5 (246 ratings) Amazon: 4.2/5 (52 ratings) One reader noted: "Phillips writes like a poet-philosopher, which makes for beautiful but sometimes opaque reading." Another critiqued: "The ideas are interesting but buried under unnecessarily complex language." Many readers recommend taking notes and reading slowly to absorb the concepts fully.

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The Examined Life by Stephen Grosz A psychoanalyst shares case studies that illuminate the human struggle with change and self-understanding.

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The School of Life by Alain de Botton A philosophical investigation into emotional intelligence and the process of personal growth through self-knowledge.

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk The work connects psychological transformation with bodily experience through a neurobiological lens.

🔖 Adam Phillips trained as a child psychotherapist and was the Principal Child Psychotherapist at Charing Cross Hospital in London for 17 years 📚 The book explores how psychoanalysis doesn't aim to "cure" people but rather helps them become more interested in their own lives 💭 Phillips draws heavily on the work of D.W. Winnicott, who believed that the ability to be alone is paradoxically developed through the presence of a reliable caregiver 🗣️ The author argues that our desire to change often stems from societal pressure rather than genuine self-improvement needs 📖 Throughout the book, Phillips challenges the modern self-help industry's premise that change should always be goal-oriented and measurable