My Father and Myself

My Father and Myself is a memoir by British writer J.R. Ackerley that examines his relationship with his father and his own life journey. The book spans multiple decades of the early-to-mid 20th century, focusing on Ackerley's attempts to understand his enigmatic father after discovering surprising facts about his past. The narrative moves between Ackerley's own experiences as a gay man in London literary circles and his investigation into his father's hidden life and secrets. Through research, conversations, and reflection, Ackerley pieces together the complexities of his father's character and the similarities between their lives. This memoir stands as an exploration of family dynamics, sexuality, and the barriers to understanding between fathers and sons. The work raises questions about how well we can know our parents and how our own experiences mirror or diverge from theirs.

Readers describe this memoir as an unflinching examination of family secrets and sexuality. The introspective, confessional tone resonates with many readers who appreciate Ackerley's brutal honesty about his relationships and self-discovery. What readers liked: - Clear, precise prose style - Complex portrayal of father-son dynamics - Candid discussion of gay life in early 20th century Britain - Dry humor throughout What readers disliked: - Slow pacing in middle sections - Too much focus on dogs/pets - Some found the tone bitter or self-absorbed - Several readers noted confusion about timeline jumps Ratings: Goodreads: 3.9/5 (894 ratings) Amazon: 4.2/5 (31 ratings) Sample reader comment: "Ackerley's voice is sardonic yet vulnerable as he pieces together his father's hidden life. The writing can be dense but rewards patient reading." - Goodreads reviewer Another notes: "Important historical document of gay life, though the endless dog discussions tested my patience." - Amazon reviewer

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🔹 J.R. Ackerley didn't write this memoir until late in life, publishing it posthumously in 1968, after discovering shocking secrets about his father's "secret life" - including a whole second family his father had maintained. 🔹 The author served as a literary editor of BBC magazine The Listener for over two decades, where he helped launch the careers of W.H. Auden, Christopher Isherwood, and Stephen Spender. 🔹 Though groundbreaking for its time, the memoir openly discusses Ackerley's homosexuality and his complex relationship with his sexuality during an era when homosexual acts were still illegal in Britain. 🔹 Ackerley's father was a successful fruit merchant who kept up appearances as a proper Victorian gentleman while living a double life - he had three illegitimate children with a woman in another part of London. 🔹 The book sparked controversy upon publication for its frank discussion of both sexuality and family secrets, but is now considered a masterpiece of confessional literature and a crucial work of early gay memoir writing.