Tell Me How to Be

A year after his father's death, Akash Amin returns to his childhood home in Illinois to help his mother Renu pack up the house before its sale. During his week-long visit, Akash must confront his unresolved grief, his complicated relationship with his mother, and the truth about his own identity as a gay Indian American man. Renu Amin has lived in suburban Illinois for decades since immigrating from Uganda, maintaining a facade of the perfect Indian wife and mother. As she prepares to leave the family home, memories of her past life and a lost love begin to surface, forcing her to reckon with the choices that brought her to America. Mother and son navigate their shared history through alternating perspectives, revealing family secrets and cultural expectations that have shaped their lives. The novel explores themes of belonging, cultural identity, sexuality, and the complex bonds between mothers and sons in immigrant families.

Readers found this mother-son story captured complex family dynamics and South Asian immigrant experiences. The dual perspectives and time-jumping narrative kept many readers engaged. Liked: - Raw, honest portrayal of grief and sexuality - Cultural details and music references - Character depth, especially Renu's sections - Authentic depiction of Indian-American family tensions Disliked: - Some found Akash's character self-absorbed - Pacing slows in middle sections - Resolution felt rushed to several readers - Multiple readers noted excessive alcohol/substance use scenes Review Sources: Goodreads: 3.7/5 (3,800+ ratings) "The mother's chapters were more compelling" - common thread in 3-star reviews "Beautifully captures immigrant parent-child disconnect" - frequent 5-star comment Amazon: 4.1/5 (1,000+ ratings) "Too much focus on drinking and drugs" - recurring criticism "Perfect blend of humor and heartbreak" - noted in multiple positive reviews BookBrowse: 4/5 (Editorial rating)

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🔖 Author Neel Patel was inspired by his own experiences as a first-generation Indian American and his complex relationship with his mother when crafting the novel's dual narratives. 🎵 Music plays a significant role in the story, with one protagonist being an aspiring music producer and the novel featuring numerous references to 90s R&B. 📚 The book explores the rarely depicted intersection of South Asian and LGBTQ+ identities in contemporary literature, breaking new ground in representation. 🏠 The novel's structure alternates between mother and son perspectives over a single week as they pack up their family home, while weaving in crucial flashbacks from their past. 🌏 Though set primarily in Illinois, the story spans three continents—North America, Asia, and Africa—reflecting the global nature of modern immigrant family experiences.