This Is How It Always Is

This Is How It Always Is follows the Walsh-Adams family as they navigate life with five children in Wisconsin. Their youngest child Claude begins expressing a desire to be a girl at age three, leading parents Rosie and Penn to make decisions that will affect their entire family. The story tracks how the family adapts, moves across the country, and faces both support and resistance from their community. Through Penn's storytelling and Rosie's medical work, the novel examines how parents try to protect their children while allowing them to be themselves. The narrative spans multiple years and locations, incorporating the perspectives and reactions of Claude's older brothers, schoolmates, and others who become part of their journey. Key moments unfold at home, at school, and during a transformative trip to Thailand. At its core, the novel explores universal parental fears, the complexity of truth and secrets, and what it means to accept oneself and others. The story raises questions about how families face change and challenges while maintaining their bonds.

Readers praise the book's sensitive handling of a transgender child's story and how it portrays the complexities faced by supportive parents. Many note the authentic family dynamics and relatable parenting challenges. Specific praise focuses on the natural dialogue, complex characters, and balanced approach to difficult conversations. Readers mention connecting with the mother's internal struggles and appreciating the realistic portrayal of sibling relationships. Common criticisms include a slow middle section, an abrupt shift to Thailand in the later chapters, and what some view as an oversimplified ending. Some readers found the parents' choices unrealistic or disagreed with their handling of certain situations. Ratings: Goodreads: 4.33/5 (132,000+ ratings) Amazon: 4.6/5 (5,800+ ratings) Book of the Month Club: 4.5/5 Notable reader comment: "The story manages to be both specific to this family's experience and universal in its exploration of parental love and fear." - Goodreads reviewer

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🌟 Author Laurie Frankel has a transgender child herself, which deeply informed her understanding of the subject matter and the family dynamics portrayed in the book. 🌟 The novel was selected as a Reese Witherspoon Book Club pick in January 2018, significantly boosting its visibility and readership. 🌟 The book's title comes from a recurring phrase throughout the novel, reflecting how parents must constantly make decisions without knowing the outcomes—because "this is how it always is." 🌟 While writing the novel, Frankel consulted with transgender children and their families, medical professionals, and LGBTQ+ advocacy groups to ensure authentic representation. 🌟 The fairy tales woven throughout the narrative were inspired by traditional Thai folklore, reflecting both the story's partial setting in Thailand and the universal nature of storytelling in helping families navigate difficult situations.