Surpassing the Love of Men

Surpassing the Love of Men traces the history of romantic relationships between women from the Renaissance to the 20th century. Through examination of literature, letters, diaries and historical records, Faderman documents how society viewed and responded to these bonds across different time periods. The book analyzes how female friendships and partnerships were accepted and even encouraged in certain eras, while facing suspicion and persecution in others. Faderman draws from both famous figures and ordinary women's stories to build a comprehensive picture of lesbian relationships and romantic friendship throughout Western history. Through extensive research into primary sources, the text tracks how medical, social, and cultural forces shaped attitudes toward love between women. The narrative follows these relationships through pivotal moments including the Romantic Friendship movement, Victorian era changes, and early 20th century shifts. This landmark work of scholarship reveals the often-hidden dimensions of women's emotional and romantic lives across centuries. By tracing these historical patterns, the book raises questions about how society constructs and controls intimacy between women.

Readers value the detailed historical research and documentation of women's relationships across centuries. Many note the book challenges assumptions about "romantic friendships" and provides evidence of same-sex love being accepted in certain periods. Positives from reviews: - Clear writing style that makes academic content accessible - Extensive primary sources and letters - Addresses class and economic factors affecting women's relationships Common criticisms: - Focuses mainly on white, middle/upper-class women - Some sections feel repetitive - Limited coverage of working-class and non-Western experiences - Dated language and framework (published 1981) "Changed how I view women's history" appears in multiple reviews. Several readers note it pairs well with other texts on LGBTQ history. Ratings: Goodreads: 4.13/5 (1,200+ ratings) Amazon: 4.5/5 (50+ reviews) A reviewer on LibraryThing writes: "Dense but rewarding - the letters and diaries make the historical evidence compelling."

Hidden from History: Reclaiming the Gay and Lesbian Past by Martin Duberman This collection of essays examines same-sex relationships throughout history with focus on social and cultural contexts.

Making Girls into Women: American Women's Writing and the Rise of Lesbian Identity by Kathryn R. Kent The book traces the development of lesbian consciousness through American literature and women's culture from the 19th to early 20th century.

The Literature of Lesbianism: A Historical Anthology from Ariosto to Stonewall by Terry Castle This anthology presents primary sources and literary works depicting female same-sex desire from the Renaissance through the mid-20th century.

Between Women: Friendship, Desire, and Marriage in Victorian England by Sharon Marcus The text explores the spectrum of female relationships in Victorian society through analysis of letters, diaries, and literature.

Boston Marriages: Romantic but Asexual Relationships Among Contemporary Lesbians by Esther D. Rothblum and Kathleen A. Brehony This work examines the history and contemporary manifestations of committed female relationships that parallel Victorian-era Boston marriages.

🔖 Prior to writing this groundbreaking work, Lillian Faderman spent nearly ten years collecting research materials, including love letters, medical records, and literature from over three centuries of women's romantic friendships. 📚 The book's title comes from the Biblical story of David and Jonathan, whose love "surpassed the love of women" - Faderman uses this to explore how male romantic friendship was historically celebrated while similar female bonds were often viewed with suspicion. 💌 The author discovered that until the late 19th century, intense romantic relationships between women were considered pure and noble, but this perception changed dramatically with the rise of sexology and Freudian theory. 🎓 Faderman herself came out as lesbian in the 1950s and went on to become one of the first academics to teach LGBTQ studies in American universities. 📖 When published in 1981, this book was revolutionary for challenging the assumption that romantic relationships between women were always sexual in nature, introducing the concept of "romantic friendship" to feminist scholarship.