Dancing on My Grave

Dancing on My Grave is a memoir by Gelsey Kirkland, former principal dancer with the New York City Ballet and American Ballet Theatre. The book chronicles her rise in the ballet world during the 1970s and her work with choreographer George Balanchine. The narrative follows Kirkland's path from student to prima ballerina, including her partnerships with Mikhail Baryshnikov and her experiences at the top ballet companies in America. She details the physical and psychological demands of professional ballet, along with the intense pressure to maintain a specific body type. Through raw, direct prose, Kirkland documents her struggles with perfectionism, eating disorders, and substance abuse - issues that impacted many dancers during this era. She describes the realities of life behind the curtain in professional ballet companies. The memoir stands as both a cautionary tale and an examination of art's human cost, raising questions about the intersection of artistic excellence and personal wellbeing in classical dance.

Readers describe this memoir as a raw, unflinching look at ballet's dark side during the 1970s-80s. The book maintains 4.1/5 stars on Goodreads from 2,300+ ratings and 4.5/5 on Amazon from 180+ reviews. Readers praise: - Direct exposure of eating disorders and drug abuse in professional ballet - Detailed accounts of working with Baryshnikov and Balanchine - Technical insights into dance training and preparation - Brutal honesty about personal struggles Common criticisms: - Self-pitying tone throughout - Harsh portrayal of other dancers and choreographers - Too much focus on romantic relationships - Repetitive descriptions of drug use Several readers note the book can be "difficult to get through" due to its dark subject matter. Multiple reviews mention being unable to view ballet the same way after reading it. One reader called it "a necessary but devastating read for anyone involved in dance." The book retains high ratings despite its controversial content, with many citing its historical importance in exposing ballet's hidden issues.

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🩰 Gelsey Kirkland wrote this raw, unflinching memoir at age 34, after becoming one of the youngest principal dancers in American Ballet Theatre's history at just 17. 🎭 The book caused significant controversy in the ballet world by exposing the darker side of dance, including eating disorders, drug abuse, and the sometimes-toxic relationship between dancers and choreographers. 👠 Mikhail Baryshnikov, who was both Kirkland's dance partner and romantic partner, features prominently in the memoir, offering rare insights into their professional and personal relationship. 💫 The memoir details Kirkland's famous perfectionism, including how she would rehearse through serious injuries and once had plastic surgery to alter her features to better match her concept of how a ballerina should look. 📚 After its publication in 1986, the book became a New York Times bestseller and is now considered required reading in many dance programs, sparking important conversations about health and wellness in ballet.