Don't Go Near the Water

Don't Go Near the Water is a 1956 military comedy novel that follows a group of U.S. Navy public relations officers stationed on a Pacific island during World War II. The story takes place in 1945 at "ComFleets," a fictional advanced headquarters where Navy PR men navigate their duties far from actual combat. The narrative focuses on Lieutenant Commander Clinton T. Nash, a former stockbroker turned naval officer, and his team of PR specialists as they manage press relations and propaganda efforts. The novel is structured as ten main chapters about various PR officers' experiences, interspersed with six segments following a romance between Ensign Max Siegel and Melora Alba, the daughter of a prominent local citizen. The book captures the contrast between civilian-turned-military personnel and career officers, while highlighting the absurdities of military bureaucracy and public relations during wartime. Its satirical view of military life sets it apart from more dramatic World War II literature of its era. The broader themes explore the gap between wartime reality and the sanitized version presented to the public, as well as the culture clash between military and civilian life.

Readers describe this as a light, humorous take on Navy PR officers during WWII, with many comparing its tone to M*A*S*H or Catch-22. Readers highlight: - Authentic military details from Brinkley's own experience - Comic scenarios that ring true for veterans - Sharp satire of military bureaucracy - Relatable characters and office dynamics Common criticisms: - Dated cultural references and attitudes - Slower pacing in middle sections - Some jokes and situations feel repetitive - Character development takes a backseat to comedy Ratings: Goodreads: 3.9/5 (267 ratings) Amazon: 4.3/5 (121 ratings) Reader Quote: "As a Navy vet, the situations are spot-on accurate even 70 years later. The more things change, the more they stay the same." - Amazon reviewer Multiple reviewers note it works best when viewed as a series of connected comic episodes rather than a traditional novel with a strong narrative arc.

Catch-22 by Joseph Heller A satirical take on military bureaucracy during WWII follows a bombardier trying to maintain sanity amid institutional absurdity.

MASH: A Novel About Three Army Doctors by Richard Hooker Chronicles the antics of military medical personnel during the Korean War as they cope with war through humor and irreverence.

The Short-Timers by Gustav Hasford Depicts military public relations and journalism during the Vietnam War through the eyes of a combat correspondent.

No Time for Sergeants by Mac Hyman Follows a rural Georgia recruit's misadventures in the Air Force, highlighting the clash between civilian and military mindsets.

South Pacific Tales by James Michener Presents interconnected stories of Navy personnel stationed in the Pacific during WWII, mixing military life with local culture.

★ The novel was adapted into a successful 1957 MGM film starring Glenn Ford and Gia Scala, though it significantly altered the book's episodic structure to create a more traditional romantic comedy. ★ Author William Brinkley served in the U.S. Navy's public relations department during WWII, mirroring the exact role he wrote about in the novel, lending authentic details to his satirical portrayal. ★ Navy public relations units during WWII were nicknamed "The Junketeers" by combat personnel, as they were often seen as having cushy assignments away from the front lines. ★ The book became a bestseller in 1956, helping establish Brinkley's reputation before he wrote his other famous naval novel, "The Last Ship" (1988), which was later adapted into a TNT television series. ★ The fictional island of Tulura was based on real Pacific naval bases like those in New Caledonia and the New Hebrides, where PR units actually operated during WWII.